


Do It Yourself

by gimmefire



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Birthday, Dirty Talk, M/M, Phone Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 01:58:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7294885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gimmefire/pseuds/gimmefire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rob gives Felipe a call on his birthday. He may come to regret this. <i>There are about seven hundred miles between him and his boy right now, so this would have to be enough for the moment. Because he sure as hell isn't going to </i>stop<i>.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Do It Yourself

**Author's Note:**

> I started this just before Felipe's birthday _last_ year, because I am timely. Beta by [mackem](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Mackem/).

"Happy birthday, mate."

Felipe's voice is husky on the other end of the line. "Ah, thank you," he murmurs with characteristic warmth. Rob looks at his watch. 

"Didn't wake you, no?" He was sure he'd checked the appropriate time for calling Brazil before he'd gone to sleep the previous night. Felipe makes a thoroughly unconvincing noise of denial, sounding suspiciously like he's having a stretch. Rob can picture him now, bed muddled hair, covers slipping down his bare chest, rubbing still closed eyes.

"Is a pity you are not here," Felipe mumbles and clears his throat. "You maybe give me better purpose to be awake, you know? Maybe give me a nice present, no?"

Rob chuckles at the audible smile in Felipe's words. "Raffa not there, then?"

"For sure," Felipe replies, continuing after a momentary pause. "I think she is in the kitchen with Pipo. But I want both of you," he says mischievously.

Rob grins. "Greedy," he murmurs in that low, warm voice he knows Felipe enjoys. It's at this point that he looks around himself to see if there are any people within earshot, being as he is on a small solo shopping trip to a cavernous hardware store on a late Saturday morning. It's reasonably busy in there, but he's sure he can find a quiet spot. He wanders away down the aisle. "A nice present, eh..."

Felipe hums in affirmation, still sounding dozy. Rob looks over his shoulder just to make sure, then pretends to take interest in the shelf of caulking products in front of him. "Which present would you like, my hands or my mouth?"

"Both!," Felipe exclaims, because it's obvious. "And more. Is my birthday. _Greedy_."

Rob takes a tube off the shelf and turns it over in his hand, hoping he doesn't look too mad, grinning away at caulk. "'Course you are. Greedy, greedy boy." His tone is admonishing, and he hears Felipe laugh ever so quietly, giddily on the other end of the line. So...he carries on. "I'll just start with my hands on your thighs, though. Just giving them a stroke. Give you a little kiss."

There's a brief pause at Felipe's end, as though it's just dawning on him. "Oh...how is the kiss?"

"Oh, just a little one, really gentle. You hardly feel it. You make a little noise 'cos it's not enough." He hears Felipe groan softly, and he chuckles. "That's the one!"

Rob sets the tube back down on the shelf and pretends to read the label of a big bucket of something-or-other in detail. "Then I'm touching the inside of your thighs, where they're a bit softer, more sensitive. Little strokes, nice and slow." He glances to his side, seeing a middle aged couple coming down the aisle. He lowers his voice a bit more. "Do you want me to go faster?"

In his distraction, Rob is momentarily unsure why there's no response on the other end of the phone; did the birthday boy fall back asleep? Then Felipe speaks, and his voice is thick with desire. Rob imagines his free hand slipping beneath the bedsheets, between open legs, fingertips lightly stroking his inner thighs... "I only don't want you to stop, you know..."

Waiting until the aisle is empty again - and the couple seem to take for-fucking-ever - Rob listens to the sound of Felipe's breathing and feels desire shimmer through him. There are about seven hundred miles between him and his boy right now, so this would have to be enough for the moment. Because he sure as hell isn't going to _stop_.

"I'd give you another little kiss, really sweet. And you want it, you want to get on with it, but you don't want to rush either." He pauses and lets his voice drop low. "But you want it _so fucking badly_."

Felipe groans and laughs all at once, and Rob pictures him letting his head roll back, exposing his throat, biting his full bottom lip. He absently swipes a thumb across his own lips.

"These nice kisses are making you squirm, eh?" Rob continues, sauntering slowly down the aisle.

"Mm-hm," Felipe hums. "Is only a small taste, too small..."

"Ah, don't worry," Rob murmurs. "I push your legs apart a bit more, so you're open-- you're _spread_ for me, y'know?"

He hears movement on the other end of the line, the faint creak of mattress. "Mm...completely open for you..." Felipe purrs. The images in Rob's head are making his own heartbeat quicken.

"And when I kiss you again it's not so nice," he says, taking a sheet of sandpaper off the end of aisle display, then putting it back. "It's a bit rough. I know you like a bit of rough, eh?"

Felipe's laugh blends with a luxuriant moan. " _Rough_ ," he echoes, and the bed creaks again. Rob imagines Felipe shifting to make himself more comfortable, tanned body undulating momentarily, and he bites his lip, cursing every one of those seven hundred-odd miles. He decides to move things along.

"So I cup my hand around your cock and balls, feeling all that _heat_ there." Rob makes sure to inject some emphasis into the word _heat_ , and he's rewarded with a quiet groan. "'Cos you're already fucking hard and keen for it."

" _Nnn hnn,_ " Felipe affirms. "You only cup?"

"At first, yeah. You feel so hot, and I'm kissing your neck and listening to you, all the desperate little sounds you're making..."

Rob looks up from the shelf of glues he's ended up beside and makes the error of making eye contact with a shop assistant hovering nearby. He blinks in outright shock, hitherto lost in his fantasy, and immediately feels his face flush with colour.

"Would you like any help, sir?" The young woman asks, her voice softening to a whisper as her sentence continues, belatedly noticing the phone in Rob's hand. Rob blinks again, eventually jump-starting his thought process so he can shake his head and offer what he hopes is a not-too-strained smile. The assistant holds up her hands and mouths an apology, pointing down the aisle in an if-you-need-me fashion. Rob smiles again, and it _is_ strained this time because Felipe is moaning in his ear with increasing need.

"Please tell me is not the finish...!"

"No, no, I'm still here…" Distantly he hears the sound of children running; they're at the far end of the next aisle but he decides not to chance it any longer. He walks briskly out into the garden centre area where he finds that, mercifully, there are fewer people. Not to mention pleasantly calming muzak that he's pretty sure can't be heard on the other end of the phone. He swerves away from the water features in case Felipe thinks he's gone to the bathroom. "Where was I?"

"Mm, your hand is…" Felipe trails off, a hazy laugh bubbling up. "In the very nice place, you know?"

"Right, right! And I'm giving your neck lots of nice little kisses, yeah…" Rob settles his mind back into the fantasy he's created, treading the thin line between looking at plants and looking at plants with enough interest to summon another shop assistant. Look at a label, wander on, look at a label, wander on, don't stay in one area too long… "So that hand in the nice place...you're getting a bit impatient and you're lifting your hips up, asking without _asking_..."

"For sure I am!" Felipe interrupts, another soft moan doing spectacular things to Rob's insides.

"Because it's not just the touch, is it?," Rob continues, biting his lip at the thought. "You can feel my breath on you neck, and it's a little bit extra that's only making it worse."

"Fucking 'ell," Felipe murmurs. Fucking 'ell, indeed. Rob inspects some bags of soil. There's lots of different kinds. He's trying not to hallucinate Felipe spread out on top of them.

"I think you are blushing now, no?" Maybe Felipe is a mind reader.

Rob can feel heat across his face and all the way down his neck. He imagines the mischievous grin breaking on Felipe's face like sunlight. He offers a short, bashful chuckle and self-consciously tugs his jacket collar up. "Erm, yeah…"

Felipe's ensuing giggle - wicked and affectionate and turned on all at once - does nothing to help his situation. And, knowing when he's onto something, Felipe pipes up again. "Is nice for you to have me like this, huh? Naked, only the sheet? Maybe my hand is also busy, you know, I pull your hair a little bit--"

"'Ey, who's telling the story now, you or me?" Rob cuts him off as abruptly as he can without seeming rude. His imagination is already in overdrive, thanks very much, which is why he's staring intently at begonias and trying to think about their preferred soil. Not how much he likes it when Felipe pulls his hair…

"Then _go_ , man!" Felipe exclaims, chiding him. "You have to be a little more quick with a driver, you know?"

At the risk of this devolving into a verbally abusive tennis match, Rob takes some heed. "Okay, okay…you want that hand in the nice place to get on with it, yeah?" Felipe makes an impatient noise of assent, and Rob smiles, giving a subtle, cursory glance around himself before he lowers his voice to a purr. "You want that hand to wrap around your cock and start working it, yeah?"

" _Yeeeeees_..." Felipe exhales with a groan.

Rob allows silence to hang in the air for a few agonising moments. "...Alright."

Felipe moans heartily and the sound is muffled; with his phone in his hand, Rob can only assume he's biting his lip to keep quiet (fuck yes) or he's burying his face in into his pillow (FUCK yes).

"It's slow, though," Rob clarifies, "I don't want you going early."

Felipe moans again, softer this time. "You make me crazy," he mumbles, without sounding the least bit upset about it.

"I'm not having to do much work, to be honest," Rob continues airily, trailing fingers through the leaves of a young plant. "You're still lifting your hips into it, fucking my hand--" Here Felipe interrupts with a strained grunt-- "And you're trying to go a bit slowly, but it's so difficult."

"Is true!" Felipe laughs rather dizzily. Rob imagines him pressing his head back into the pillow, then makes himself stop imagining it.

"You're not getting any let up though," he says, sauntering down an empty section of chintzy garden ornaments. His gaze roams idly over some garish iridescent fish. "Because I feel like crawling down and giving it a kiss. A couple of nice kisses."

A dirty laugh bubbles up in Felipe's throat. "Ah for sure, how is the taste?"

Rob grins to himself. "Tastes fucking amazing, obviously." He's lying, and he knows Felipe will know he's lying. He's never been a fan of the flavours that accompany a blowjob but the reactions are worth it; especially when the taste is really a twelve hour flight away. "I fancy a bit more of a taste, so I kiss it a bit more, give it a little _suck_." He makes sure to emphasise the word _suck_ because he knows it makes Felipe go to pieces. A low, tremulous moan on the other end of the phone confirms this.

He rounds a corner and is startled by the sight of a staff member crouched down, taping up a leak in one of the watering hoses not five feet away from him; after an unpleasant prickle of panic - _did he hear? How loud was I talking? Fuck!_ \- he swerves away and ends up moving back through the sliding doors into the store itself. He settles upon looking at toilet seats because it's the only nearby aisle that's empty. His face is hot again. He's beginning to have regrets.

To his increasing relief, Rob can tell Felipe's close now, because he's not backchatting anymore; fuck, he's barely saying anything, Rob's just getting a semi-rhythmic distorted noise in his ear as Felipe pants into his phone.

"Er, yeah," Rob murmurs, trying to get back on track. He's casting his eye over the range of cistern levers, silently acknowledging how phallic some of them are. He lifts his hand and absently rubs his thumb around the hea-er, the end of one of them. "Giving it a little suck, yeah. Maybe swirling my tongue a bit. And my hand's still busy, still working you a little bit faster now." Felipe moans again, their sound beginning to rise, Rob's voice becomes rough - "Your fucking hips are twitching and you're almost fucking my mouth--"

"STAFF ANNOUNCEMENT, COULD THE SHIFT MANAGER PLEASE--"

Almost yanking the lever off the display in his shock, Rob physically flinches away from the sudden voice coming from the loudspeaker. Which he happened to have wandered directly underneath.

"What--what was that...?" Felipe's hot, bothered and newly bewildered voice reaches his ear. "What are you doing...?"

"...Nothing, don't worry," is the best Rob can manage initially, mind in a sudden tailspin. "I-I'm out."

As if on cue, the kids from earlier run past him, all stamping feet and shrieking giggles. He winces. Felipe pipes up again. "You are out? With your kids?"

"They're not _my_ kids--"

Felipe is so audibly baffled that Rob can picture the exact mix of disrupted arousal and resulting irritation on his face. "...You are out with kids but not yours?"

" _No_ , I--"

"STAFF ANNOUNCEMENT, COULD--"

" _Fuck's sake!_ "

After a few moments to compose himself - and get well away from bloody kids, pensioners and fucking staff fucking announcements - Rob explains with a fair measure of embarrassment that he's in the middle of a (solo) trip to the hardware store. He rubs his cheek, feeling the heat of his blush yet again.

"So in hindsight, this _mightn't_ have been the best spontaneous idea I've ever had," he says ruefully in the midst of Felipe's croaky laughter.

"Oh my God, you are crazy!" Felipe declares warmly. He affects offence. "Ah, okay, I think you do something nice for me, for the birthday, is only about me - no, completely wrong, you are only bored doing your fucking shopping!"

Rob waves his hand in helpless protest as though Felipe can see him. "No, no!"

"Yes, yes!" Felipe persists. "It was completely a joke to you, huh?"

"No!" Rob exclaims slightly too loudly, self-consciously dropping his voice when he continues to placate his lover. "If it makes you feel any better it was really stressful, actually."

"Ohh, for _suuure_ ," Felipe's voice is the most sarcastic Rob has ever heard it. "I feel so bad for you _queridinho_ , it was _so difficult_ for you…"

"Alright, alright, _alright_ , I'm sorry," Rob interrupts before Felipe can start thinking of a career change to overacting. "I'll make up for it, mate. Don't you worry." He says it with as much seductive promise as he can muster in his current state, but Felipe doesn't at all take the bait; he offers a slightly derisory snort.

"Yeah, you fucking will!," he laughs, and then he hangs up.

 

Rob has made it back to the car with his hitherto almost entirely forgotten purchase when his phone bleeps. As he's pulling it out of his pocket, he's expecting it to be one of two things; further consternation from Felipe or a text from Lucy wondering where he's gotten to.

It's neither. It's a photo. A bit dark, a bit blurry, taken in low light. A hand holding...something.

It's a dick pic. Felipe's sent him a (still half hard) dick pic.

His phone bleeps again in his hand as the follow up arrives. It's that emoji with the steam blowing out the nose. Four times over. Then the one with the angry eyes.

After a prolonged trip to a hardware store Rob finds himself turned on, heavily sheepish and above all quite grateful that there isn't yet a blue balls emoji.


End file.
